voicemail

why doesnt our family talk
and why does my phone
know more about my interests
than the person on the other line?

why doesn’t my family talk?
why don’t i know what to call
my mom, my dad,
besides their names?
i can’t call them
funny, sweet, or lovers of rain
i can’t call them
shy, witty, or fans of chocolate

why don’t i call them?
why do i keep replaying 
old memories in my head?
of when our voices used to intersect?
why do i do this instead?

im scared of one day
calling 
and calling
and calling
only to replay the sound of their
voice
mail.

i should call
but the connection-

it’s so bad.